Going Berserk

Berserker

One who is near unstoppable
One who is in a trance
One who momentarily feels no pain

Once a berserker has gone berserk he cannot be stopped

It is suicide to go up against a berserker on the battle field
If a berserker has one in his eye he shall look at him as if he was a hawk starring at his prey
A Hawk never misses his prey

Berserker's are ferocious animals in a human form

When Anger over comes me
When fury over comes me
When pain over comes me

I go in to the trance

In this trance I feel no pain
In this trance I am unstoppable
In this trance I can become berserk

I could be a berserker

When I go to this trance my fist can make a shelter shake upon it foundation
When I go to this trance I enjoy the infliction of pain
When I go to this trance I see neither friend nor foe just victim

All could be a victim

A victim can run
A victim can escape
A victim will always try to escape

A victim may not always escape

A victim will feel pain
A victim shall be in agony
A victim will regret what he has done fore pain shall be great

A berserker may not stop
I may not stop
I fear she may not be able to stop me

A berserker will attack and attack until the victim is in a satisfiable position of pain and suffering

Even if that means the victim shall die in the most agonizing way possible

Disposable

As if I am garbage
I am disposable
Even if am a living creature

To some I am disposable.

With little regard for human life
Used for all I was worth
Then disposed of, for the next victim

To some all is disposable

Using humans as such is a tragedy
Especially when this is an unforeseeable fate
Tragic enough to make one become misanthropic

To some tragedy is disposable

Once used life becomes painful as each night sets
Thoughts of regret begin to stir
Even though Disposal was inevitable

To some Disposal is inevitable for all.

While near impossible to foresee your disposal it shall come
Just as long as you are disposable to them
It shall come

Because to some the life of Humans are disposable

Scars

Time heals all wounds
Yet if that wound is deep enough it shall leave a scar
And the scar remains for many years
Sometimes the scar never heals.


At times the scar will burn
At times the scar will open
At times the scar will create deep pains

The scars that hurt the most are the ones left upon the heart
These scars can heal with time
But some shall never fully heal
Some can reawaken causing the greatest pain
While others shall remain closed for the rest of time

I have many scars
Some left upon my body
Yet the worst is within.

The worst burns like the fire of hell
Yet at times it remains dormant nearly disappearing
I lie to myself at those times
I say that "it's gone" but surely enough it returns worse than before

Returning with an agonizing pain
A pain that burns worse than before
All I can do is wait for the pain to pass.

I fear that time may never heal this scar.

And I shall bear it till the end of time.

Why?

Why does my life be one that has little happiness?
Why am I a man who never smiles?
Why do act upon each impulse?
why am i a lonely soul?

Why does no one tell me why?

Why does every one fear me? When I am just a gentle soul
Why do i pounder such questions?
Why is there so little who desire a revolution?
Why am I cursed with a fate such as solitude?

Why does no one tell me why?

Why it when I fall I just keep falling while every one just watches and passes me by as if nothing is of concern?
Why is it that I always try so hard only to end up short and failing in the end?
Why does no one love me?
Why must i journey alone?

Why does no one tell me why?

Why do i always hurt with such a unbearable pain
why do all shy away from me?
Why do i exist?
Why am i always alone?


Why does no one tell me why?

Some one Tell me why

Help from one who is unknown

Pain, depression and sadness consumed me to the very depths of my mind
I reached my hand out only to find no one was to help in my time of need
I was, Alone once more,
In my mind I always thought it would be forevermore
No comrade, no companion, no love, no one to call upon.

Driven mad I allowed it to consume me more and more.
Accepting this fate was a brash action
For beyond my eyesight far within the mist there was one.

One who could put ease back unto my mind
One who could take my hand and pull me up, from the abyss before a fall of death awaited me
One who could give me emotion that I had once lost
One who made me feel no longer alone
One who then achieved, a feat incapable of many

Her word’s eased my mind
Happiness I lost was returned when she graced me with her presence.
She gave me her companionship when I was in isolated solitude.
The feat she achieved was making me smile.

A feat, only one other has achieved before

She made me create such strong feelings of altruism for her, in such a short time.
And all she did was truly understand me and talk to me as if I were a friend

Pain

This pain I feel is greater then any I have ever felt before
This pain I feel burns
This pain moved me to tears
This truly is the greatest pain

This pain I feel stopped me from eating
This pain I feel aches
This pain I feel moved me to sadness
This truly is the greatest pain

This pain I feel stopped me from sleeping
This pain I feel bites
This pain moved me to depression
This truly is the greatest pain

This pain I feel caused me to harm myself
This pain I feel stings
This pain moved me to cutting
This truly is the greatest pain

This pain I feel comes from the place which gave me joy
This pain was caused by a person
This person does not know the great pain they have inflicted
As much as the victim they gave the pain to.
They may not even realize they caused the pain
But they truly did no matter how harmless what they did seems

The only one who truly knows the pain is the victim who suffered thru this ordeal
And if yet the victim suffers too much they may no longer survive
For those are the ones who have great uncontrollable pain

This truly is the greatest pain

Waiting

I am waiting so long, I am waiting so long
I am waiting
I am waiting for her
That’s why I am waiting so long
I spend my days waiting for you
The one who changed my life
That is why I am waiting
Just waiting so long

At times I am impatient
And can no longer wait
But I am waiting just so long
Just for one

Some ask "why wait?"
I say "because of her"
That is why I am waiting so long.

Such a small reason why I wait,
Yet so powerful
To make me wait so long

I wait for her to again have a reason to exist
While I wait I write and think why I wait
Only to think and write of her
I am waiting so long.